s.t.r.e.s.s.

joe. you can come back at anyyyy time now.

i have been a ball of stress lately. i have tried everything to make it less but it isn't working.

wednesday we took alexis to the dr. oh wait. by we i mean ME. ALL ALONE. this is the first time i have had to do that. and it was awful. :( they interrogated me about all kinds of crap and then they ask..

"how is her relationship with her father?"
really? my response?
"well, he's passed away in july"
silence in the room.

they ALREADY knew this. i don't know WHY they asked me or didn't have this recorded.

fan freaking tastic. just what i wanted to go through.

so then the idiot nurse begins to ask me why and how it happened, and i just looked at her and she was like you don't have to discuss it. i was like  i know, and I'm not going to. but thanks. UGH.

then i find out, she has to go see an eye doctor because she most likely has a lazy eye. great. one more thing i get to deal with alone. how much more can i take? really? ugh.

yesterday she clapped her hands for the first time. its the little things that set me OVER THE EDGE.

i miss you more with every breath i take. i just wish i had you here to listen to me. give me the hug i need when I'm sobbing uncontrollably. help me. please. i love you so so so much joe. nothing can ever take our love away.  xoxoxo.