alone.

"From the way he spoke of you and Alexis... I've rarely heard anyone speak of loving someone so much. Don't doubt it. The two of you were his world. At times he would make me jealous thinking I wish I had that. I sincerely believe Joe will always watch over you two." 

this is a message I got from one of Joes managers at work. These words mean so much to me. lately i find myself doubting my life. doubting the joe loves me or loved me at all. and i needed a reminder, and then i was going through my inbox which has been OVERWHELMED with messages since he passed and there was this message, sticking out at me and it reminded me, he does love me and he made that clear to EVERYONE he came in contact with. and that is what i remember about my joe. but at the same time, it makes me miss him. so much more. i am so over being alone. i want to feel that happiness again. the happiness of being in a HAPPY HEALTHY LOVING relationship. I am not sure I will ever have what I had with Joe again. I know I am only 2 months out and still very early in this process, but the love i shared with joe only comes once in a life time and anything from here on out will be settling for sure. I found my prince charming, and now he is gone. 

Blah kinda day. 

On an up note, my baby has her first tooth! Her dada would be so proud. He couldn't wait for her to get her teeth! 

i love you boyfriend. to the moon and back. <3