how?

how can someone SO young and SO youthful be SO sick.

SO sick he died.

how does that happen? i am looking through my photos right now and he is so healthy and so youthful. he was so full of life and now. now he's a memory to everyone but me. to me he is still very much alive and very much a part of my everyday. but to everyone else he is a memory. i don't think I'm okay with any of this. i want my baby love for christmas. please santa. thats all i want. one more kiss. one more hug. one more 'i love you gf.' anything. one more glimpse at that perfect face.

life is cruel.