sadness.

its been such a day.

i just wanna curl up in bed and sob.

i miss joe.

bottom line. 

i miss him.

today my sweet babies at work broke my necklace that he gave me on our first date.

i cried and cried and cried.

that was one of the only things i have every day on my person from him personally. 

i found the heart part of it and have to go get the chain replaced. 

my baby keeps asking for her daddy.

she says that hes in the sky.

and she tries to "catch him" 

its precious.

and sad.

shes 2.

she deserves to have her daddy.

she deserves to know him. 

and she has been robbed of that. 

the world she is being raised into is awful. 

people die at 23 from illnesses that shouldnt kill them. 

people walk into elementary schools with guns and kill babies. 

then the news bombardes their families and the surviving children with millions of questions and plasters photos of caskets that shouldnt ever be that small on tv.

im disgusted.

and im jealous.

joe doesnt have to deal with this anymore.

he gets to watch from above.

its just not fair.