...isolation...

so I've been MIA

from life in general.

my head:

is a mess.

my life:

is a mess.

but I'm coming around.

I've done this whole like isolation thing.

feel sorry for me kinda thing.

yuck.

no one likes that.

truth is?

i miss joe.

i miss him so much.

and May is here.

which means June is not far away.

and June is the beginning of the end.

and i don't think I'm ready for that.

it has NOT been a year.

it is NOT true that it has ALMOST been 365 days since I've looked into those perfect brown eyes.

it has NOT been almost 365 days since I've heard i love you come from those lips i kissed everyday.

i REFUSE to accept that.

healthy?

nope.

do i care?

nope.

i miss my boyfriend.

and I'm allowed to.

so i have isolated myself while i think about all this nonsense.

but I'm done with the isolation i think.

im willing to admit again that i am grieving.

that i miss the man i love.

that no one will ever take his place in my life.

yes, i am still dating.

and yes i am still happy seeing other people.

but comparing people to him

and expecting them to act just like him?

not going to fly anymore.

I've already sent one person running because of that.

lets not make it a trend kayla.

cause then you really will be alone forever.

anyway.

heres to no more isolation.

facing the months to come head on.

and surviving to blog about it.