need to grieve.

i have 100% put my grief on the back burner.

and its caused me to become a crazy monster.

i have lost my mind.

i have been so focused on school, work, boys, my arm, my kid, my friends

that i have put my grief on the b a c k burner.

and not grieving has made me INSANE.

i have been so quick to snap and lose my mind.

i have been on the verge of tears over stupid nonsense for 4 days.

i need to grieve.

so last night/today

i lost it.

i came back to earth.

and I'm ready to be my "normal" again.

i am tired of losing my mind everyday (more than usual)

im tired of feeling like if my child or one of my students make one move i will snap.

im tired of being annoyed with my family/friends.

im tired of feeling like every L I T T L E thing a guy does is a DIRECT indication of how he feels.

(news flash; guys don't work like that. who knew?)

but anyway.

I'm ready to go back to the girl i was a month and a half ago.

a grieving but happy stable girl who enjoyed life.

don't take life so seriously, no one ever gets out alive. 

right? 

right.

help me relax. let the tears flow when needed so i don't get like this ever ever ever again.

i just want to have fun. i just want to enjoy life. i just want to be me. 

xoxo missing you love.