reality check.

its been a year since he was awake.

the next few weeks of our life together were just me sitting at his bedside.

hoping he would wake up and talk to me.

he did wake up for a few days

never talked to me.

too many tubes.

but this is all a story you have heard many times. 

last night i went out with my girls from work.

i LOVE my girls from work.

i had a great time.

it was a rowdy crazy time. 

but it was just what i needed. 

i finally realized a few things.

1. i am capable of being a 20 year old girl.

i can go out and attempt to keep up with the people my age.

i can laugh. i can make others laugh.

for once i felt...normal. 

2. "boy a" which would be the boy i have been chasing isn't the only boy in the world.

yes, i may have incredible feelings for him.

but there are other boys out there that can make me smile. 

that can make me laugh.

and i should NOT settle for less than i deserve.

feelings aren't the only thing that make things work in a relationship. 

it takes work, and effort.

honesty and passion 

time and patience.

so maybe one day we will work it out. 

maybe there is someone better out there for me.

maybe i am over reacting.

maybe i am late to the reality check.

yes i like him. a lot.

no i will not let him treat me like garbage. 

so.

i am thankful for my time with my girls last night.

it brought so much clarity, and fogginess.

haha :) 

<3 

happy 4th of july.