so i thought i was okay. i really really did.
but I'm not.
lately. I'm just not myself.
I'm reserved, lifeless, and monotone.
i enjoy hardly nothing.
I'm on edge every day.
i don't treat the people in my life on any level they deserve to be treated.
I'm just blah.
i miss my life.
i miss my joe.
i miss my world.
this one I'm living in, its just not mine. and i don't want to be here anymore.
wheres the exit?
I'm ABSOLUTELY dreading valentines day.
but thats another post for another day.
Dear Kayla:
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks when I read your posts. My best friend in the whole wide world had to face life without her husband when he died suddenly in April, 2002. So I know just a tiny bit of what you are going through. You are in my prayers and I just know that God will bring you through this heartache and you will smile again. It is so hard to wait and trust that you will feel good again. Take your time with grief; there is no shame in that. Keep photos of Joe and talk to your little baby about him. It will be good for you; don't be afraid to cry out to God and tell him that you are angry and that it is all so unfair. He can handle the criticism, believe me. He wants to hear from you and loves you deeply. You are so special to Him. Just take that big jump and trust Him to sort out all of your confusion.
I loved getting to meet you and your baby girl; she is blessed to have a mamma like you.
Love,
Tari (Hollie's mom)