trust.

trust (n):reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of aperson or thing; confidence.

trust is something i struggle incredibly with.

i have a hard time believing people.

and when i do, i expect that they deserve it and will not INTENTIONALLY hurt me.

well,

if you follow me you know that is FAR from the truth. 

i have let the wrong people in at that wrong times in my life.

for years now.

i have few people i feel i can truly trust.

but heres my dilemma.

can you learn to "retrust" someone who has highly let you down?

who directly lied to you more than once?

can people change? 

can people go from being a liar to being honest?

when you have true feeling for someone do you do whatever it takes to get to that point?

am i too young to deal with this? 

I'm literally going crazy. 

there are a few people in my life lately that i just don't trust.

but i want to learn to trust them again.

they are good people.

and i love having them around.

but heres the deal.

you can't have someone in your life that you don't trust. 

but i want them in my life so i need to trust them.

so i guess,

is it possible to trust someone after they have hurt you so bad?

last week was an incredible week.

this week will be rough.

I'm hoping next week will be better.

things should go up from here.

thats the hopes.

lets just hope it works out. 

putting a little trust in fate/faith/hope.

we will see how badly i can get let down again.

<3

i miss you. you know that. but you also know that its been almost a whole year. and no matter how much i love you and how deep our love is, i deserve to move on. i deserve a man who will treat me right. i deserve to be loved. so I'm just asking that you help me out baby. i will always love you and you will always be my main man. but your so far away. and sometimes i just need a physical hug or kiss to relax. please babe. i hope your being good. xoxo.