trust.

trust is a huge topic I'm struggling with. 

who do you trust?

when is it too soon to trust someone? 

how do you know if you can REALLY trust someone?

I'm asking someone to trust me and when i think about it, these questions come up.

yes, she is in the same situation as i am. 

she is a young widow with a baby the same age as lex. 

and I'm asking her to trust me. to let me in so that i can be there for her.

now, this is not something i had. so i have no idea how she will react.

she's still in the first few days, like the first week. and i know how she feels. 

so i wonder, will she trust me? 

she isn't the only thing that has brought upon this question.

since joe passed its something i worry about. 

joe was my WHOLE life. 

when i lost him, i lost EVERYTHING.

and i never want to be in that boat again.

i want to love again, with my whole heart. but i also want to be cautious. 

and i want to be able to stand on my own feet if needed.

i want to be the BEST mother, woman, and future wife (again) that i can be. and that requires me being cautious with my heart. and my trust. and my life in general. 

so, heres to new journeys. new friends. new relationships. and old memories.

<3 

i may be moving forward my love but i will never ever ever forget you. you will always be MY joe and i will always cherish every minute we had together. i want you to be by my side and approve of every choice i make. xoxoxo. i love you forever & ever baby love.