strike out.

so i have made a big girl decision.

and guess what.

it bit me right in my butt.

joe has been gone for almost 9 months. 

its been the longest hardest worst 9 months I've ever experienced. 

but i decided it was time to go on a big girl date.

with someone new.

i found a guy who i clicked with.

he understands my situation. 

whole story up front.

no lies. no secrets.

100% up front from the beginning.

so i said what the heck.

fail.

we went to opening day.

yes, i took him to opening day. my tickets. 

we had fun.

laughter. smiles. no stress. no tears.

he's the real deal.

butttt.

Drew Stubbs wasn't the only one striking out on Thursday.

he's CLEARLY not looking for what i am.

hes a great catch.

and i really like him.

but i don't see it working.

so here i am.

having my first non-joe-boy-related break down.

its different.

but it still hurts.

you win some and you lose some right?

this girl just loses a lot.

but thats okay.

one day ill get it right.

until then,

its me, my iPod, and my tears. 

three strikes and your out girl.

why can't you just send me someone who's ready for this life!? just make it easy. I've already suffered enough.

xo.