day 02.

todays is super late but i had some running to do tonight. so lets see. im going to go with

Sean Kingston- Wrap you around me

this song is really appropriate for now because all i want is to feel him wrapped around me. cause it is all too much. but anyway. Joe would sing this to me or send me the lyrics in a text when i was having a rough time with my friends or my family. and it reminded me that no matter what, i always had me & him. and that was my sanity and my home. He would never leave me and would always be there. and even now that hes gone, he is still there. when i am having a huge meltdown, which happens daily, i can feel him holding me and it makes me relax a little. id give anything to feel those big arms wrapped around me one more time. i remember one day right after alexis was born and i was an emotional mess and i just felt i couldnt do it. we were standing in the kitchen and i had my head buried in his chest crying and he wrapped his arms around me so tight and starting singing this song. followed by some other songs that will come in the days ahead. Joe always sang to me. He is a terrible singer, but id give anything to hear him sing one more time. No, id give anything to hear him say or do anything one more time.

went to the cemetery today, i need to stop going there. it just makes me sad. i dont want to visit my man in a cemetery. he should be in our apt playing video games, watching ghost adventures, or playing with the cat or alexis. not in the ground watching from up above.

tonight im annoyed. a.n.n.o.y.e.d.

Joseph Carter, i love you. now & forever. xoxo.