day 28

tomorrow is 10 weeks. 10 WEEKS?! nooo. blehhh. i miss my man.

today i have thought a lot about the ICU. our stay and our journey in the ICU. I haven't gotten around to writing a thank you note to the nursing staff there, or anyone else yet, they are all waiting to be written. thankfully my "in laws" are going to help me. but anyway. I am doing a new position at work, and its just me and my iPod all day. and today the ICU was on my mind all day. I can picture my sweet angel laying in that bed sound asleep in that contraption of a rotating bed. I can remember the MOMENT he opened his eyes for the first time in 2 weeks, it was just me and him in the room. i was SO scared, but SO excited at the same time. I was the first person he saw when he opened those big brown eyes. <3 I can remember the moment he grabbed my hand for the first time in 2 weeks, the first time he mouthed the words "i love you". when he reached for my phone because i was teasing him for not teaching me how to use it before he went into the hospital. and then i remember the moment that precious heart stopped beating. when he took his last breath. all of those moments happened in room 1330 in the ICU. that room holds so many memories. and idk why its been on my mind today but it has. it was a nice room. but now, i plan to NEVER EVER go back to Bethesda North Hospital ICU or any other room in that hospital to be frank. bleh. there is my random mind thoughts today.

I am also thinking about my fellow widow over at No Sudden Revelations who is facing her 6 month marker today. <3 hugs to you girly.

and my DEARRR friend Tameka, I met her through my grief group at Crossroads and she has become my lifeline. her hardest month is ahead of her and she is in my thoughts. we will do it together girly. i am always here. loveee you <3

anyway. my song for the day.

Avril Lavigne- Keep Holding On

                                       the motto of my life now. keep holding on. plus joe loves avril.