joe LOVES kesha. its sick. at first i was so anti kesha but she grew on me and soon joe & i loved her together :) her music really is good! he drug me to metropolis to see her perform live. and he was in heaven. i have never seen him so happy. it really shows his love for music. so for his birthday i bought him her CD and its something i treasure very much because he loves it. so kesha will ALWAYS remind me of my precious boyfriend. and our memories together. she was someone he discovered while we were together and he died loving her. whenever she came on the radio he would turn it up and jam out, we would jam out. i know he's up there jamming and following her around on tour <3
today was rough. one of the girls joe worked with wrote on his wall, and it made me sob. it makes me realize other people are missing him too. which makes all of this more real. it was one of those things that hits you right in the face and makes my reality more real, cause its easy for me to get caught up in not believing this. i miss him more with every beat of my heart.
i bought a new camera today. it is my goal to take more pictures. i have tons of pictures, i thought, but then when you have to go through them all you realize just how few you have. so then decided if i have a new camera, i will take more pictures. we will see how that pans out. i spent more money than joe would be pleased about on it but hey, whatever. haha :) i loaded my SD card into and ALL these pictures i totally forgot about popped up and i just started at them all and cried. they were such happy moments and they were of me and joe, when he was healthy and we were just the 2 of us doing stupid stuff. i miss my man. i miss my future. i cannot say that enough. but when i look at these photos i see what my future was supposed to be and now i have been robbed. :(
last night was grief counseling, i will blog about that later. tonight i have a migraine. and my jaw is killing me.
tomorrow is 8 weeks...
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